It is important to confront conflict as it arises.
If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again.
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Then, as if by magic, by the next week, they feel great again.
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While both bring a kind of idealism to the relationship, it is usually idealism applied to different things.
So to me, having the desire is something to be celebrated, something to really acknowledge, within limits.
What's more, Gottman noted, data from a Munich study demonstrated that the reflective listening exercise itself didn't help couples to improve their marriages.