Usually, the thing that will tip you off is a change in behavior.
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During those years, she gave up her dream to be a wife and to have children.
Hence do dot give up on trying to improve the communication, but promise to yourself that you adult ds games use this strength to put an end to this should things escalate and take a downward spiral.
Point is, it took me a while to realize that the first pregnancy wasn't mine, despite being the basis for our later relationship.